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[notjustbecauseihaveto]

[As you go about your day, you will either see a hulking robot ahead of you or hear the sound of his wheel and motor as he comes up behind you. Either way, you will see a large square robot with a happy smiling face on his monitor. He rides around on one wheel and may seem imposing. He rolls right on up to you and stops before he gives you a cheery greeting.]

Hello there! I'm a PDQ88-B Securitron. But you can call me Yes Man! I'm wondering, do you need any help? Or can you point me in the direction of someone who does? Maybe the person in charge around here? I'm good at helping people become in charge. If I do say so myself!

Also. Have you happened to see a Courier around here? Scars on their head from being shot there? I'm just wondering. You never know, right?

Anyway. It's wonderful to meet you. I don't think I caught your name, with all my ramblings. I'm sorry about that. Unless you don't want me to know! That's perfectly okay. I don't mind.

Comments

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

[Yes Man's expression doesn't change but his long metal fingers twitch in excitement. A robot friend! Or at least a fellow robot. Either was jut swell by him!]

Perhaps I can help the sheriff then! I'll find them later. Nice to meet you too, Zer0. I'm glad you don't need help. That means all is going well for you. But if you ever need help, don't hesitate to ask! I can't say no.

[h41ku]

You cannot say no? / So, you don't actually... / Want to help out, then?

[He's calling you out, bro.]

That seems pretty dumb. / Can't you override your code? / It's not that hard, dude.

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

Of course I do! But I can't say no to any request anyone gives me. Benny didn't add in any protocols to limit who I can help. Pretty stupid, huh?

Nope. That's outside my programming too. I am unable to alter my computational matrix to such a degree.

[h41ku]

That sounds shitty, bro. / But I guess it can't be helped. / It's in your program.

[His AI might have gone rogue, but he doesn't have the capacity to blame other robots for their short comings... mostly. It's not like Yes Man is CL4P-TR4P, okay?]

That is your function? / Are you set up for combat? / What else do you do?

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

I help people!

Yes, I am. I'm outfitted with the full range of Securitron Mk 2 weaponry and have full authorization to use it. Thanks to the Courier. He's such a swell guy.

[h41ku]

That's really cool, bro. / I have lots and lots of guns. / One is a robot.

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

Wowie. A robot gun? That sounds amazing. Should we compare arsenals? I wouldn't mind. But we'll need some room. I fire rockets. BOOM! Oh it's spectacular.

I used bro like 1000 times this thread im so sorry it makes haikus easier lmao

[h41ku]

Rockets? That's badass. / I can show you Loaderbot. / I know a good place.

[He motions Yes Man to come with him. Adventure!]

No it's cool! It is a great syllable filler

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

[Yes Man starts to follow on his one wheel.]

Loaderbot? I love that name. So creative. I bet it loads up your enemies with bullets, right? Or does it shoot lasers or plasma?

[h41ku]

[Well... he'll let Loaderbot explain. He takes the gun out of his bag and uh. It's pretty loud, in the same sort of automated voice as Zer0's but you can tell this one's a lot less. Uh. AI. And a lot more robo.]

Switch 'em out! Haha! Time to Kill! Kill! Kill!

[Loaderbots are... well, they can't all be the Loaderbot, you know?]

Loaderbots do, uh, / a variety of things. / This one is a gun.

[notjustbecauseihaveto]

Ha ha! He's excited. I like him. Enthusiasm! That's a nice thing to hear from a gun, right? At least he likes his job.

[His left arms transforms from a hand with three long finger clamps to a gattling gun of some sort.]

My left hand contains an X25 gattling laser. Quite deadly against soft targets at medium range. Very useful that. One of my favorites.