he's so helpful

[taakotuesdays]

So you want to be a farmer? Here's the deal. Farming's stupid easy. First thing you gotta do, is you gotta--

[ streeeetch ] You gotta get yourself all nice and limber for the farming. [ crossing one arm over a shoulder, streeetch, doing the opposite. ] The farming that we were all interrupted in the multiverse to do. Specifically, coming here for farming, when my best friends are back home and this is supposed to be a place that reunites best friends or whatever.

Thanks, Marge, you're one of a kind.

Anyway, you take some seeds. [ Throws them over his shoulder. ] -- oop.

[ He turns and blasts the seeds to grow into an impressive beanstalk, sprouting weird vegetables that only wizardry would make. ]

And that's my TED talk on farming where is the bus to the Moon.

Comments

[taakotuesdays]

Yo, talk a little louder, because I think I just heard an idea my elf ears didn't quite pick up. Spill the beans, dude! What's your job?

[ He casually takes a peach off one of his vine abominations and takes a bite of it. Sweet and juicy. Remind him to juice this into a fine margarita later. ]

[collegedebt]

I work for-- well, I own, actually, Hyperion Company. We're a weapons manufacture on the outside but we are so much more.

[The schmoozey company talk comes with the education, so this is Timothy's actual forte. He goes on, and on, but finally...]

... even a regeneration system, for Vault Hunters-- that's like an adventurer, y'now-- In case they die or whatever. And it's all thanks to me. Handsome Jack.

[taakotuesdays]

Hold the fuck up.

[ Taako's found it. The spark that is going to make them best friends. ]

Your name is Handsome Jack.

[ He wheezes a little, but it's clearly in delight. ] I'm Taako from TV, dude! Now I get it, we're totally on the same level!

[collegedebt]

[Yeah, it's kinda funny isn't it? What a blowhard. He didn't come up with it, though. He's glad it's good for a laugh.]

Yeah, yeah. Suits me, right?

[Tim gives that Handsome™ grin, settling his hand on his hips.]

Hyperion trademark, don't forget it.

[Aaaaaaand, finger guns!]

[taakotuesdays]

Dude, now you gotta spill. What the hell is Hyperion? I mean-- You got your own CEO celebrity nickname and everything, what's up with that?

[ Taako's actually looking pretty enthralled, he's not used to meeting people who are the same kind of showboat he is. ]

[collegedebt]

I was just telling you, dude! We're a weapons manufacturer.

[It's okay, Taako probably got distracted by his dashing good looks. Or something...]

We own 13 planets in 5 galaxies and sell to even more. Personally, my favorite thing is our PTM, stands for Personal Transformation Machine; instant skin changes! You don't even have to put on your own clothes.

[Wish he'd known about those before all the. All the surgery.]