starhuevalley | FURST | Action at the bus stop!

Who: Szelhamos and you!
What: A very cranky, flamboyant ~~bird~~ demon rolls up into town, definitely NOT LOOKING FOR ANYONE.
When: The weekend, as late in the afternoon as he can manage.
Where: Bus stop, and then grumping around town.
Warnings: None unless over the top Mean Girls level histrionics are troubling.

[He'd never had to take public transportation before in his life. Why would he? He could teleport. He could buy a car. He could waft into town on a breeze.

He could pay someone an embarrassingly large amount of money to ride in a plane with a hot tub and a five star all you can eat sushi buffet. He wasn't a bus person. But apparently, there wasn't any teleporting in here, or breeze riding or car driving or sushi buffet plane flying in here. That alone was offensive, and he hadn't even gotten to the part where he was offended that he had to ride on a bus.

Stepping out of said bus into podunk middle of nowhere was offense number three, Szel still sulking over numbers one and two, and at this point he was furiously scrolling through his phone looking for a certain number in a desperate effort to vent some steam.

He definitely doesn't look like he fits here, a tall, well dressed young man in an Italian suit and calf skin shoes, gold tipped cane and blacked out glasses. Not... not really farmer material. Maybe he's here on vacation.

A bit jarringly, there upon his shoulder, peering into the phone with far more intelligent intensity than most would expect, was a slinky, golden eyed black cat, unblinking as Szel grumbled and scrolled.]

If he changed his number, I'm snapping his neck.

[Now this would sound like he was talking to himself, where it not for the cat.... y'know, answering him, tone demure and lisping.]

If you snap his neck, do we get to go back?

No.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Cassian was the most secure, letting Tannusen cavort around with his enemy of two thousand years! It wasn't like this was happening in secret, or without the somewhat unspoken understanding that Tannu would call a halt to it if it started to upset the priest.

Honestly, a+ fiance.

"Gross."

EXCUSE YOU SUGGESTING HE'D FUCK LIVESTOCK?? ????? ?

"The insinuation is kind of silly coming from an overgrown angry parrot."

"Are you insinuating I'm on the same attractiveness level as a chicken?"

STALEMATE, now they're both offended.

... Okay no, one of them has definitely been offended a lot longer here, but let him pretend this is all even footing.

"You have your moments."

OOOH BURN.

"I'm reinstating the ban in my new house." JERK.

"I mean, you can try," Tannusen was right back to sounding cheerful, just like that.

"I've yet to encounter a measure from your world that can stop me. The challenge sounds fun!"

"Who the hell else, other than me, has even attempted to stop you with literally anything that you do?"

"Cassian early on, of course."

Silly priest had thought his wards would keep a guy out who, even after losing the ability to teleport, could draw a doorway on anything and walk through it.

"The fish, although I guess he tried the opposite. He learned better. Your fellow chickens never tried to tell me no because of the whole free will thing."

BAWK BAWK.

"Cassian would attempt to turn back the tide if it caused him some kind of inconvenience." So he doesn't even count.

"And his asshole fairy friend is exactly like him, just more insecure." Is he wrong?

"So neither of them even matter here, and yes, I was the only one in the entire host of heaven who could use that free will thing, so again, I'm the only person here that even matters."

"He would!" No, not even a little bit of an argument about Cassian's stubbornness. It's a good thing Tannusen finds it charming... most of the time.

Hey, no one was perfect.

Unless you're Szel.

Then you're perfect, obviously.

"Are we almost at my house yet?"

"Oh we went past the turn for it a while ago," Tannusen said cheerfully, not missing a beat.

A while ago! You know.

WHEN YOU CALLED HIM A CHICKENFUCKER.

"Is this because I called you a chicken fucker?" COME ON.

"That was three whole minutes ago, and I wasn't even serious!"

"I suppose I'll take that as an apology," look, Tannusen knows this is as close as it's gonna get. "And I lied; we're coming up on the turn here."

Sure enough, there was a turn that he steered them into!

DIIIICK

"Like I'm going to stand here and insult myself by actually believing that your sexual standards are that low." Grump grump grump.

"I'm not that contradictory, I'm not going to pull the 'even a wrong clock is right twice a day' argument here, clearly you have impeccable taste to a certain degree."

So we've moved from insulting to discontented grumbling. Much better.

Much, much better!

"Good, I'm glad we have that understanding."

Thus appeased, Tannusen moves along. "You know, you won't have to get a second place for our shenanigans if you just stop trying to ban me from your house. I know you don't mean it, so it won't stick anyway."

"I wouldn't have to threaten to ban you from the house if I wasn't somewhat concerned about coming home to a closet stacked to the ceiling with expertly balanced half full solo cups."

A beat.

"That's not a suggestion."

"That's just the price of having me around. And we both know I come with more perks than problems, or you wouldn't be so into me."

Complete with Tannu lifting his free hand and reaching over to boop Szel on the nose.

Yeah he saw it coming, he could have moved, he has Midge. His nose just wrinkles up instead, making the most dissatisfied face ever.

"You're still lucky I even showed up." Spoken bitterly even as his thumb idly traced over the side of Tannusen's wrist.

"Right, right, you've got me super fooled," Tannusen chuckled at that, and then drew to a halt in front of... well. A quaint little house, or so someone would call if it if they were feeling charitable.

Everyone here knew how charitable Szel was.

"Here we are! Chez Szelhamos. Isn't it cute?"

About as charitable as Ebenezer Scrooge two nights before Christmas.

"I'm going to die here, aren't I? I thought I was going to contract something from the bus, but I can see now, I was wrong."

"So dramatic!" Of course, that's about as expected. "Four billion years old, felled by floral print curtains."

He prides himself on his over reactions, thank you.

"My last act on this plane as I lay languishing on my new expensive bed will be to burn this whole place down."

Okay no, he's just taking this and running with it.

He'll just improve the house. Eventually.

And Tannusen, if Szel doesn't just plant his feet anyway, starts leading the way up to the front door!

"Good thing the bed frame's metal then, isn't it?"

Yeah that's right. Tannu got you a Real Sturdy Bed, Szel.

For reasons.

For reasons. Everyone here is a pure and sinless saint so surely those reasons are because we all just love sleep overs and jumping on the bed a whole lot.

The demon doesn't dig in his heels even a little bit, easily following Tannusen in without a moments hesitation.

"Well at least the bed will survive."

He sounds slightly happier.

The upswing in Szel's mood doesn't surprise Tannusen; he knows how much the vain bird likes presents.

"It's good to have priorities, right?"

And there it is, because the house is just as small as the one Tannu and Cass are living in, the bed takes up a pretty solid chunk of the real estate in here. A huge four-poster made out of what is definitely steel, the mattress already all made up with the promised expensive bedding.

"I remembered how big your bed was at your place. I'm guessing for wing-space?"

FURST | Action at the bus stop!

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